The Conflict Within

The Conflict Within

I am writing about our personal conflicts — when we are at war within ourselves, that is, our own inner feelings and desires

We may have conflicts ‘without’, that is, in the realm of relationships, the environment and society. It is not always easy to hold fast to ideals, or Christian values and principles, whether at work, within society, or the home. In this realm we may face a struggle for significance and to have control over our circumstances. This we can cope with if we are whole within. But how many people are that blessed, especially in today’s society which, to some extent, lacks family values and community adhesion?

We are all born with certain needs — food, love, self-esteem, security. Often greed takes over because we lack discipline or through failure to have our basic needs supplied. Self-indulgence — the result of the environment in which we are nurtured? And blessed indeed are those who do not have the need to be forever seeking sexual-fulfilment but rather find contentment with a lifetime partner. Especially in a society of ‘must have’ ‘will have’ never mind the consequences.

Many people are ready to blame the Devil, whatever that means to each of us.
A dimension in life that appears hidden of which we seem to have little or no control? A power that is anti-love, anti-life, anti-Christ. — EVIL?

I would suggest that the devil has become a scapegoat for much of the evil that originates in man — an entail of evil — that which Jesus said came out of the heart of man and which defile him — wicked thoughts, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, perjury, slander. It is easier to deny that which is within ourselves and project it on to others, or on to a devil. It is not easy to confront and deal with our own failings. What we really speak of is that which struggles against what we know to be good, true and holy. This is the darker part of the shadow side of our personality, and of the human race. A side which shows itself repeatedly in history, dark deeds often done in the name of God or for the ‘better good’ of mankind.

How easy it is to refuse to face our shadow and to point a finger at others or blame a devil for man’s failings.

Christians believe that their Lord came to earth as an ordinary man. He had the same temptations as all men. He was born as a child with the same desires, feelings, conflicts common to humanity. And this surely was his purpose — to redeem the shadow within man and to let in God’s light. To set free inspiration and creativity and the love, peace and joy of a life lived in relationship with God and his fellow man. Whatever faith we live by (or none at all), there is value in examining ourselves — our motives — and determine to live for others as well as ourselves. As many people have found — it is in giving that we receive.

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Snow Drops On Snowdrops!

We had another fall of snow at the weekend. Quite pretty and did not last long enough to cause problems. But, as usual, the patch of road and pavement in front of the house, which does not catch the lovely sunshine we are now experiencing, remains covered in snow. In all the time we have lived here I have only known our road to be gritted once. But not to worry, the roads going into town and the town itself are clear.

This time, we managed to get photos of the snow coming down. It was quite fluffy stuff. The snowdrops are out, mostly in the shelter of shrubs, but we caught snow drops falling on snowdrops! A squirrel got into the act. We snapped it feeding on the peanuts put out for the birds. They have a hard time getting the nuts though because my husband has strengthened the wire of the nut feeder. This is a bit of a competition my hubby seems to enjoy — man V a squirrel’s ingenuity.

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Cark and Cartmel — A short trip with a view, and lunch thrown in!

Cark and Cartmel — A short trip with a view and lunch thrown in! With February sunshine — what a treat!

One of the pleasures of living in South Lakeland is the possibility of taking advantage of a sudden spell of sunshine in the middle of winter.
Yesterday we had a trip to Cark in Cartmel. Not far but fantastic scenery.
We drove to Cark for a light lunch at a very inexpensive café at the rear end of the Lakeland Nurseries. There is also a coffee shop at the front end. Both serve delicious homemade cakes but only the rear café serves hot food. Nothing expensive but excellent fare.

This café is a writer’s dream! Sights, sounds and smells are richly in evidence. I look around and observe the people who gather there and those delightful ladies who serve. Hear the chatter — no restrained whispers — of the patrons as they greet friends and neighbours, or chat amongst themselves. Smell the aromas emanating from the kitchen: mouth-watering hot dishes being prepared, or scones and cakes cooking in the oven. Yes, indeed, dare to linger the eye on the confessionary hygienically kept under glass, and feel your resolution to lose weight gradually wane — well, you can start again tomorrow.

Most of the customers are elderly men and women, indeed, a child present gets a lot of fuss — like babies at baptisms hovered over by jolly grans and tweeting aunts. Seats are saved at tables, reserved with walking sticks maybe. If we’re lucky a cycling club will be meeting for lunch, each muscled athlete dressed in colourful top and clinging black Licra tights, and, before removing helmets, looking like exotic flying insects with their wings removed. They may be on the older side but youth oozes out of them. (Watch it, girl!)

The cafe sells cards, craft items, jig saws and a few books too — my Still Waters Run Deep and Blazing Embers can be seen on the shelves. (Hopefully not for long!)

Having satiated one’s hunger, there is the delightful walk out among the rows of potted plants — nature’s jewels for house and garden. Tools and garden needs, trees and shrubs too — so much to see.
Why not stand at the door and feast the eye on the lovely countryside, before getting in the car and driving to Cartmel with its wonderful ancient Priory. On towards the fell road home, we usually stop to observe the mountain views and take photos. Then home to relax with hubby reading a story.

Such simple things to gladden the heart.

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Late January walk round Ulverston, Cumbria — in photos

Date, January 31st 2010. Cold but not too bad for January. We walked up Chittery Lane (at the top end of Soutergate) and took the bridle path (where we took the first photo overlooking the Flan).
At the top end of the lane is a view of distant bay and the Hoad monument (presently shrouded in plastic while renovation work id being done.)
Walking on towards the monument you get lovely views of town and bay. On reaching higher ground the mountains of Cumbria come into view. Over the other side, views of woods, the canal, industry, and South Ulverston. We poised by a seat dedicated to a much-loved lady, evidenced by fresh flowers. A wonderful thing to commemorate someone's life this way. There are a number of seats along the footpaths and truly appreciated by those in need of a rest.
It is possible to follow a path down to the main road where you can get refreshment at Booths before choosing your way home (or back to the car park?).
Uphill but an easy walk.
Leaflets of walks and the town's attractions can be found at the Tourist Information Office. Don't forget to visit one of the jewels of Ulvetston — the Tinners Rabbit Bookshop on Market Street, housed in a rambling old building with beams and, in winter, an open fire with armchair plus a sofa upstairs. Oh yes, and you'll find some of my books there! (Signed and dedicated if asked for.)
The photos have come out of order - one day I'll get it right!

Wild Birds that give us joy. Squirrels that make us laugh!

We have two bird feeding stations: one in the back garden in view of the kitchen and dining room windows, and another in the front garden hanging from various branches of a tree. Both bring us great pleasure as we watch different species of birds, plus cheeky squirrels, feed off seeds, nuts and fat balls.
The squirrels have to work for their food — my husband sees to that! I love to see them work out how to get up the pole and find a way to reach the nuts by hanging upside down. Young squirrels tend to slide down the pole to start with and get their bodies into intricate positions before finally stretching themselves fully at an angle to get a nut. After they had nibbled away the bottom, they now have to nibble metal if they want to be greedy and get the full load. But they can do that sometimes. Hubby uses his brain to keep them exercised — a battle of wills and ingenuity! A year or so ago, I saw a squirrel under our oak tree playing with a stick. I could hardly believe my eyes — it was rolling with it, tossing it and skipping after it just like a puppy.

The robin is a bully and frightens off the small birds but we love to see him just the same — as we do all of the beautiful birds that give us so much joy. But I don't like the sparrowhawk (or whatever) hovering around. It catches other birds and sometimes we see the remnants on the lawn — especially pigeons.

But the white pigeons gave us incredible pleasure last year. One found a way to get at the seeds — not easy as it involved fluttering in space. But he did not appear to eat the seeds himself, he just caused them to fall to the grass below the feeder. The rest of the pigeons, ranging from pure white to dappled shades of beige, just waited for the seeds to fall. Curiously, the provider pigeon did not seem to eat any. He just strutted around until deciding to get more for the others. Now, was he a cock impressing the females?

The most beautiful pigeon was a pure white fantail. I loved to see that bird, whether he was strutting around — cute in his fluffy 'bootees' — or flying fully stretched, an angelic being caught in the sun's rays. We missed him when he did not appear day after day. Then we heard that he had been found on a lawn with his head bitten off. I felt so very sad. But life of our wild birds go on — such a blessing.

When All Seems Dark

There are times in life when all seems dark and pointless.
Tragedy hits millions of people in distant lands. Just when the mind and heart has taken in the enormity of what has happened, death in thousands strikes again, and again, and again. But, unless personally involved, that is the backcloth to daily living.
We do what we can and put the horror to the back of our minds. After all, personal issues, so small in comparison, have to be dealt with with day by day. For some, sickness or loss of loved ones, for others loss of job, or death of ambition. But how does anyone deal with horrific incidents involving innocent children? How do children recover from heart-breaking cruelty? Cruelty that children all over the world endure day after day?

But there IS light and love in the world. It comes creeping in when we least expect it. Nothing is certain in life, except death, but in small ways each of us can make a difference. Often, it is in little acts of kindness that we are surprised by joy. It is true that in giving We receive. Light breaks through the dark clouds. Spring is on its way.

Simple Pleasures

We had a fall of snow during the evening/night. Not heavy but everywhere was magical, better than the heavier fall. We sat in the bay window and I could not take my eyes off it. There was a fine mist of very light snow still present. It was all too light to bend the tree branches and twigs. A harmony of white and soft greys, with a hint of green of the evergreens not hidden, and a pale gold-beige of the beech trunks. Only a soft cooing of pigeons to break the silence, and only an occasional bird moving across our vision.
The sight was even more precious than the lovely blue sky above the snow of not so long ago. Spiritual in its beauty and healing for the soul. The snow now melting, of course, and my husband has once again gone out to keep a path clear. If I had boots which I knew would keep me on my feet, I would be walking up the local hill to get a glorious view of fells and mountains, coast and sea. (I have not found any boots to fit my feet; likely they would not be any good on ice anyway.

Yes, I was pleased to see the snow back this morning. But then, I knew it would not stay long enough to make life difficult. It has just about gone from the shrubs and trees now, and sheep are able to scrape it away to get to get at the grass.

Simple pleasures to enrich the soul.